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Mrs. Who?

Earlier this week I had the super fun task of addressing, stamping, stickering, stuffing and licking 120 invitations to a friend’s engagement party. It’s not as bad as it sounds as I had company / help most of the time I completed this task. What I found irritating however was that the majority of these invites were addressed Mr. and Mrs. his name. I know many of the people receiving these invites, great couples and the wives are all smart, funny, charming ladies who are in my mind worthy of their own recognition. I personally prefer to address couples by first name recognizing each person such as Jane and John Smith rather than Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. I get that some people like to be formal, but one of my wise friends pointed out to me last week that when a tradition becomes ridiculous you should stop doing it. Even worse are invitations sent to a married lady only and she is still addressed as Mrs. John Smith. I find a small condolence in knowing I am not the only one with this outrage as evidenced by the Miss Manners inquiry below. (side note: I LOVE Miss Manners!) Even though I am single ( as I think this blog clearly discusses) I look at this STUPID tradition and wonder if I am doomed to one day be known as Mrs. His name. My last name isn’t short and I always have to spell it for people but it’s my name and I’m rather attached to it. My name and I have been together nearly 26 years. I have two degrees with that name printed on it and the deed to property; granted, there are also credit card bills and numerous traffic tickets but overall I am proud of the things I have done as a Ms. I supposed it isn’t a huge deal but I look at the name change as a threat of losing a little bit of who I am. I suspect should I ever become a Mrs. I will keep my name professionally but change it legally and socially – but if Mrs. His name only gets some mail it just might be ignored.


  1. I agree with you wholeheartedly, actually. However, after dealing with more FMIL drama than expected at this point in the process, I figured that deference to her traditionalism on this particular matter might net me some grace going forward. Plus, you got the actual formal guest listing - I was too lazy to retype it for the more casual invitations. ;)

  2. haha bride, post not directed at you. I've been on my why does a women have to change her name soapbox for weeks, but writting Mrs his name over and over again did get me riled up. I am never calling you Mrs. M.O.S. IV

  3. I know...have to give you some grief, tho, as I think we share many of the same ideas on when traditionalism is warrented and when it is not. I think I will have a long adjustment time when it comes to accepting being a Mrs. AND a Roman numeral. To all those who love me, I'm sure I will forever be V.K.


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