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Manners according to me

I am very much into manners. I believe the words please, thank you, I’m sorry, and excuse me are not used enough in our society. In general, I believe in the arts of hostessing, hand written notes, wishing people a happy birthday, sending flowers, and general common courtesies. In our very casual society of communication through email, being facebook “friends” with people we hardly know, and a me, me me attitude the importance of manners has been lost. I find this very irritating. For example, I recently hosted a dinner party. I had a fabulous time and very much enjoyed the company of my guests. What I did not enjoy were the three people who rsvped yes (with a plus one each) and then didn’t show up. While I am most understanding that plans change I find it simply unacceptable to let one’s host know you will no longer to be able to attend. Should a person be involved in an emergency and notice is impossible to give, one should at the very least follow up with regrets as soon as possible. I also recently attended a dinner party and there were people as well who rsvped yes and didn’t show. While it’s nice to know it isn’t “just me” I find this behavior very frustrating. Additionally, at the part I attended there were people on the guest list who never even bothered to rsvp at all. I can’t decide on which is worse. I think it’s pretty rude to not even acknowledge an invitation. While there are many large, fixed cost events that don’t really require a formal rsvp there are many people that can’t seem to remember that smaller more intimate setting do indeed require an rsvp. In general, I believe if an event is in someone’s home or in a public venue where the host shall incur a cost per guest an RSVP is a mandatory. One can safely presume invitations to such events have a limited guest list and the invitation recipient was deemed important enough to warrant an invitation. With such consideration from the host, the guest owes them a reply of acceptance or regret at the very least. I am also not a fan of the “maybe” reply, in fact I wish evite would eliminate this response as an option. Some people use maybe as a way to say I don’t feel like going but I don’t want to be mean and flat out say no. Grow up, put on some big kid panties and say no if you don’t want to go. An invitation never obligates attendance. In some cases an invitee truly may be unsure of their plans for the event date and a maybe reply is occasionally warranted. Any maybe responders however, should expect only to partake in general beverages and snacks and should not anticipate the meal (if the event includes such) being available for them.

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