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Colon Cleanse

Last night I got had a colon cleanse and per the request of some of you I shall provide a recap that is hopefully informative, maybe a little silly and not too gross.

So, I signed up for a series of three colonics at renew wellness spa. The package was $149 and came with one infrared sauna session, regular price is $59 per colonic. I noticed the spa had a notice for tipping directed at groupon customers, I find this ridiculous and did not tip - sessions are 100% private so no tip for turning on water, sorry. Anyways . . .

Here's what the device looks like, it's basically a toilet where you are laying down, which feel awkward and took a while to get used to, during my first session I had the incredible urge to use the regular restroom facilities the entire time.

So you go in and get naked from the waist down. Renew provided some lube and a glove to insert this new to me tube into my bum, it only needs to go in about 2 inches.

It feels weird at first but isn't anything too bad, face it, the entire procedure is awkward and weird. One in the position, which is lying down with your bottom, tube in, over the device opening and bottom half covered with the privacy sheet you page the staff to come turn on the water. The water flow is gentle and warm, as it was described to me you allow your colon to fill with water until you have that "gotta go" feeling and then release. The more water you take in the more you will feel cramping - ladies think time of the month type cramps - and i got a heating pad to hold on your tummy to help with this. My extensive Internet research taught me that there are two methods to this process, one is to be in a room alone during the procedure, which I what I had along with a pager to call for someone should I have needed it. The other Is to have the therapist with you, guiding when to release and massaging the abdominal area. I'm not sure if the assistance makes it any more effective but would certainly add to the awkward factor. During my 2nd session a staff member came to check on me mid session and I just couldn't release with her there -I came pretty close to screaming at her to get the F out.

During my first session I was focused on the hold and release method as I had read about and seen on some YouTube videos. In preparation I had not eaten that day so only "old stuff" would be cleaned out. I read somewhere that each treatment is equivalent to 5 to 10 bowel movements. Although there is a viewing tube, gross - I know, I don't really think it was anywhere near the 10 mark. Sadly there were no Barbie shoes eaten when I was 2, pennies, or other oddities, just the usually stuff only in small pieces. Oh, and bile (you know, the gross yellow mucus you throw up when you're nauseous but there's no more food in your belly) lots and lots of that. So like I said earlier, I was VERY eager to use a regular toilet after, perhaps too eager as I was clear I did not release all the water I had taken in into the machine. Restroom visit complete I was given a probiotic and electrolyte water before being sent on my merry way. Word to the wise wear dark yoga pants and stay near a restroom that evening. I was very surprised to not be very hungry and ate a ginger salad for dinner - then proceeded to release green water all evening. Not fun. I read that I was supposed to feel energized but instead I was very tired. However, I also read that the 2nd session is usually when more stuff is released as the first session loosens it all up - so a few days later I was back in for session 2.

Now this is where I was bad in being able to give a full portrayal of this lovely event. I had fully intended to fast during the day for session 2 so I could accurately compare removal levels but I got so hungry around 2pm, and of course since I hadn't planned to eat I grabbed what was close, mcD chicken nuggets. Session 2 I felt a little more comfortable with what was going on and after a few minutes of paying attention to holding and releasing I just decided to read - and this is when the magic happened. And I think you all know what I mean by magic. So, I'm inclined to say a therapist presence wouldn't help, because for me it worked best to just let my body decide the flow and not put much effort into it. The 2nd time was a little shorter than my first and I did a much better job of releasing the last water, I still recommend a restroom visit after standing up and walking around every time. I was supposed to have my 3rd session a few days after the 2nd but plans got in the way and I had to reschedule for 2 weeks out.

The timing of the 3rd session was perfect because I just came back from my annual sorority retreat. After eating junk food for four days straight I was breaking out and feeling run down. I actually arrived at my appt a little late from napping. This time I had my free sauna session in this little device.


When I have a non condo home one day I would love to have one of these. Relaxing music and changing lights added to the soothing sensation, and of course I got sweaty and felt my muscles relax. After 25 minutes in the sauna it was time for session 3. Again I focused on controlled taking in and releasing for the first part then relaxed into reading, when I did the flow automatically increased so session 2 wasn't just a fluke. A few minutes before the session is up the water temperature changes to cool, which seems to trigger some more release. By the time the session was over my last few releases had just been clear water. I decided to check out the Marshall's around the corner, because Germantown has the best Marshall's, and was super relieved that the restroom was unoccupied mid way through my browsing. I knew it was coming because I left renew with no urge to go but also feeling bloated, about 10 minutes sloshing around and I would have busted into the men's room had the ladies been occupied, it was that urgent and hence why I recommend not driving and wearing dark pants as your just in case. I also noticed how different I felt, I went in super tired and left refreshed and energized. I was pretty skeptical so I don't think it's a placebo effect, plus the therapist did say it looked like I had a lot of mucus removed so I do believe that if nothing else the 4 days of terrible eating effects were washed away.

Overall, I'd recommend giving it a try. I don't feel like I lost any weight or my tummy got smaller but I do feel less dragged down and I'm certainty more hydrated. Providers of the service indicate you can resume normal life immediately after, I recommend making it a chill at home might until you know how it will affect you. Hope this helps and no one was terribly grossed out : )


  1. I know it was a few years ago, but this was so helpful to someone interested in trying colon hydrotherapy! :)


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