Skip to main content

Thank you, Thank you very much

Every time I hear that sending thank you notes today will set one apart I'm a little shocked, I know plenty of people who send thank you notes. But I also probably know a few who do not and just don't want to admit it. If you're ever in doubt about when to send a thank you note or need some ideas to get you in the habit than fear not, I am here to offer you some advise. Most of this I feel is common (apparently semi common) knowledge I've gathered over the years but I'll also offer you some special practices I have developed. I've also got some pictures of the type of card that might be appropriate. All examples are available at Tiny Prints.
 

Job Interviews

Seriously, it really shocks me that people don't do this. If you want the job, send a thank you note. I usually keep some in my car and will write it and take to the post office as soon as the interview is over. In fact, if you know the decision is going to be made the next day write it in the parking lot and then go take it back to the receptionist. Make sure you are using professional looking stationary, I usually use my normal monogrammed stationary.

MandySue tip

 Send a note to EVERYONE you interacted with - especially if the hiring manager has assistant. This is smart on so many levels 1. These people are usually influencers to the decision maker 2. If / when you get the job being in with these people will help you out a lot 3. Don't be a suck up, be nice to everyone. Also, remember to thank references for taking the time to make you look good.
 
 

 

Gifts

Someone gave you a gift, you thank them - This is not rocket science. Unless your family is super formal you do not need to do this for immediate family but do note that older relatives tend to enjoy them - my grandma still gets a thank you note from me after Christmas and my birthday. I think the important part to remember here is no one has to give you a gift, even if they were invited to your wedding / baby shower / whatever party. An invitation is not an obligation to provide a gift. If someone gives you a little fun token of love type of gift then I think a verbal appreciation is fine but all "true gifts" should be properly thanked.

MandySue Tip

The  best thank you notes are personalized. Dear X, thank you for Y. Love Z  . . . boring! I once had a bride write to me how 3 generations of her family had the same silver pattern and she was excited to use hers at her next thanksgiving. Now obviously it was something she registered for but she was specific in her thanks and personalized why the gift was special to her. (that wedding was over 5 years ago and I still remember the note). I prefer to make very little mention of the gift and instead focus on how much I enjoyed the person's company or how much their thoughtfulness means to me. If there's a special event their gift will be used at I mention that too.
 
 

 

Entertainment

If you have been invited into someones home, they deserve your thanks. It's usually nice "not to arrive empty handed" but I feel if you are attending a potluck that makes it ok just to bring your dish. If your host / hostess is providing the food and beverage for you than a nice hostess gift would be a bottle or wine, or something small for their kitchen. Avoid flowers that have not be prearranged as it will obligate your hostess to stop and arrange them.

MandySue Tip

I'd just love to be an an economic position to send flowers after every visit to someones home but that's just not realistic. I  do try to make sure that people who have hosted me multiple times do get flowers at one point and I usually ask the florist to keep it at $50. If this is too much I recommend getting flowers from the store, nicely arranging and leaving on their doorstep while at work - half the cost of delivered flowers but just as thoughtful.
 
 

 

Helping you Out / Supporting

If your friend provided you a ride when your car was in the shop, watched your kids when a last minute situation came up, or helped you moved into your new place they should get a note. I don't care if you have known this person since you were 5, thank them verbally, thank them in writing and if you can afford it thank them with a token of appreciation. Also, if someone came out to support an event important to you thank them for that as well. They probably got something for their support so no gift is necessary.

MandySue Tip

When my mother died I was obsessed with sending out the acknowledgement cards. I was raised writing thank you notes and this reflected upon her - I HAD to send them. At some point I got exhausted and just couldn't keep up. I'm sure I missed someone who deserved my thanks. Just remember it's never too late to thank someone. You can acknowledge your tardiness but let them know how much the support has meant to you. Use this for any situation in your life as appropriate.
 
 

 

Just Because

Honestly, who doesn't like to get REAL mail that isn't bills? These are the best notes because they are unexpected. If I go to your bridal shower and a few weeks later I have a card with your return address I don't have to open it to know what's up. Oh, but if a card appears for no reason than it's suddenly a pleasant surprise. You can thank people for being a good friend, for being a mentor, send a note to your significant other just to say I love you and I'm happy to have you in my life or whatever. I started doing this in June 2012 and Its been a really positive experience.  
 
 
 
So those are just a few situations when it's appropriate but really I don't think there's ever a time when a thank you note is inappropriate. My personal opinion is that if you don't send a thank you note for gifts at the very least you have the potential to come off an an entitled jerk. And to be honest, you might not receive a gift from me in the future. So here's some rules on sending notes:
 
1. Wedding gift thanks need to be sent within a year. This is a few cards a day max even if you had a huge wedding. You can do it!
2. Send a thank you for one event / gift before asking / inviting to another. So if you get preggers right away than sorry but you better move up your wedding gift timeline. Don't be the jerk sending a baby shower invite when the wedding present was never acknowledged. Ditto if you invite people to support your special causes
3. Acknowledgment cards after a family members death should also go out within a year. But honestly if you miss it, it's more of a you'll feel guilty thing. Only jerks really expect these cards and timely
4. I'm not sure of specific rules on post baby thanks but think of it this way, if you can grow and entire person in 9 months than you can your notes out too.
5. Try really hard to send an invite within a week of being entertained by a friend. TRY. Life gets in the way. I'm terrible at this myself, but its a nice goal to have.
6. Keep bright, busy, glittery, fun stationary for more informal thanks and keep the serious stuff for the serious occasions
7. Generic thank you. DON'T DO IT.! It's totally cool to have a picture from your wedding on your card. What's not cool is getting the card pre-printed to see than you for attending and then not write an acknowledgement of the gift. So not cool.
8. Don't make excuses for yourself. Everyone is busy. If you write one note a day , which takes 5 minutes, until they are all done you will get all your notes out much faster than waiting for that 3 hour window to write them all
9. Involve your husband if applicapble - it's ya'lls wedding, y'alls baby and you were invited to dinner together so why shouldn't he help?
10. Keep a list, sending thank you notes twice could be super awkward.

Comments

  1. L-O-V-E!! I am a stickler for thank you cards. I've pretty much accepted that most people don't send them and I don't get easily offended anymore for not receiving one....but I write them and my kids write them. My 7 and 8 year olds wrote their own cards for Christmas gifts this year and they were hilarious! Very short and to the point - "thanks for the ____" - but they took time to write them and color the picture I had printed on the front! I got more response from people getting their cards than ever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I love hearing about kids wirtting cards, they're so cute! Something like that would totally make it onto my fridge.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ipsy Ocotber 2017

I thought I had unsubscribed from Ipsy but apparently I just skipped last month so yesterday I had the unexpected surprise of an ipsy bag in the mail. The October bag is really cute and I will absolutely use this as my purse makeup bag. As for the products I have mixed feelings, here's what's inside:   Marc Anthony True Professional  Hydrating Coconut Oil $11.80 I usually don't use a oil in my hair but my ends have been kinda dry and frizzy lately so I figured hey why not. I was pleasantly surprised how this didn't make my hair feel greasy or weighted down and it did make the ends smoother so it's something I would consider purchasing in the future. I do wish it came in different scents, this one smells beachy which is nice but this time of year I'd prefer a less tropical scent.
Dermelect Nail Polish $12 I'm not even going to link to this product I thought it was that awful. I personally am not a fan of the shade but that aside the formula had an awful app…

Sunday Secrets - Behind the Filter

Two weeks ago I posted a "Sunday Secrets" post giving a little insight on the real me vs the social media me and I really enjoyed it and decided to try making it a regular thing. When I first started blogged it was mostly just a journal about my life I shared with my facebook friends filled my thoughts and personal rants. Since "cleaning up" my posts earlier this year I realized that I've missed having that outlet and I've worried that in only talking about this beauty product or that outfit I might be too shallow and it's ok to be a little bit real online sometimes. So today I'm taking about my life behind the instagram filtered lens.

Instagram filtered version of me  Latley I've been a little overwhelmed by adulting. I don't remember my parents ever acting like just being an adult is hard. I was too young to remember much from when my paternal grandfather died but I do remember my maternal grandparents dying within a year of each other a…

Trunk Club Review

Recently I saw the trunk club service advertised on instagram and I was very interested. The service started as a personal shopping service for men but since being purchased by Nordstrom has expanded the service offering to women. The basic premise is something similar to Stich Fix - create a profile providing sizes, likes and dislikes, converse with a stylist and be sent a box with 10 items to try on -keep what you like and send back the rest. This service has a $25 styling fee that is waived for Nordstrom card holders. When I first created my profile I knew that I wanted to add some tops to my wardrobe but I was really looking for a dress to wear to my brother in laws upcoming wedding. I was super excited when my assigned stylist indicated I could request specific items and there were three items I asked to be included. Before the trunk is sent out you have the option to preview, decline any items that are not what you're looking for and then either just get the previewed item…

Nordstrom Rack Memphis

Last week was a big week for Memphis shoppers - our very own Nordstrom Rack opened! I like Nordstrom Rack, it's one of my favorite places to shop online, so I was excited to hear that we were getting one in Memphis.


When visiting the new store I was surprised at how much it reminded me of a TJ Maxx. The home section is much smaller, the shoe section much larger and there's no jewelry case but otherwise it's similar in size, layout and merchandise. One difference I appreciate is that the purse and clothing sections are separated out by designer - so if for example you're looking to buy a Tory Burch bag you don't have to look through all of the bags - they are organized together. Shoes are not separated by specific designer but they are in two areas - regular and designer, which seemed to be shoes over $150 a pair. Super small home section Women's clothing Purses! I really want one of these Rebecca Minkoff bags Pretty earrings For plus sizes I'm torn on ho…

Mommy Lhey Little Bits July and August

I've been terrible about sharing my Little Bits boxes lately, which is really crappy of me because they are so beautiful and definitely deserve to be shared. Each kit comes with patterned papers (double sided), a pouch, notebook, pen, stickers, decorative paper clip, die cuts, washi tape, sequins, sticky notes, clear stamps, a planner charm and bookmarks or dashboards. Trust me, it's a big bang for your buck. To me there's two things that really make the Mommy Lhey kit stand out - while each planner designer is going to have their own aesthetic some tend to follow the same theme every month and it gets well - boring. June had a cactus theme, July is florals and pretty dresses, August does have some floral but has a much sassier feel and September is going to be woodland animals; it's always fun and exciting to see what the theme will be each month and I love that Mommy Lhey releases the theme before the sign up dates so you can decide if it's for you or not. The …