Skip to main content

Thank you, Thank you very much

Every time I hear that sending thank you notes today will set one apart I'm a little shocked, I know plenty of people who send thank you notes. But I also probably know a few who do not and just don't want to admit it. If you're ever in doubt about when to send a thank you note or need some ideas to get you in the habit than fear not, I am here to offer you some advise. Most of this I feel is common (apparently semi common) knowledge I've gathered over the years but I'll also offer you some special practices I have developed. I've also got some pictures of the type of card that might be appropriate. All examples are available at Tiny Prints.
 

Job Interviews

Seriously, it really shocks me that people don't do this. If you want the job, send a thank you note. I usually keep some in my car and will write it and take to the post office as soon as the interview is over. In fact, if you know the decision is going to be made the next day write it in the parking lot and then go take it back to the receptionist. Make sure you are using professional looking stationary, I usually use my normal monogrammed stationary.

MandySue tip

 Send a note to EVERYONE you interacted with - especially if the hiring manager has assistant. This is smart on so many levels 1. These people are usually influencers to the decision maker 2. If / when you get the job being in with these people will help you out a lot 3. Don't be a suck up, be nice to everyone. Also, remember to thank references for taking the time to make you look good.
 
 

 

Gifts

Someone gave you a gift, you thank them - This is not rocket science. Unless your family is super formal you do not need to do this for immediate family but do note that older relatives tend to enjoy them - my grandma still gets a thank you note from me after Christmas and my birthday. I think the important part to remember here is no one has to give you a gift, even if they were invited to your wedding / baby shower / whatever party. An invitation is not an obligation to provide a gift. If someone gives you a little fun token of love type of gift then I think a verbal appreciation is fine but all "true gifts" should be properly thanked.

MandySue Tip

The  best thank you notes are personalized. Dear X, thank you for Y. Love Z  . . . boring! I once had a bride write to me how 3 generations of her family had the same silver pattern and she was excited to use hers at her next thanksgiving. Now obviously it was something she registered for but she was specific in her thanks and personalized why the gift was special to her. (that wedding was over 5 years ago and I still remember the note). I prefer to make very little mention of the gift and instead focus on how much I enjoyed the person's company or how much their thoughtfulness means to me. If there's a special event their gift will be used at I mention that too.
 
 

 

Entertainment

If you have been invited into someones home, they deserve your thanks. It's usually nice "not to arrive empty handed" but I feel if you are attending a potluck that makes it ok just to bring your dish. If your host / hostess is providing the food and beverage for you than a nice hostess gift would be a bottle or wine, or something small for their kitchen. Avoid flowers that have not be prearranged as it will obligate your hostess to stop and arrange them.

MandySue Tip

I'd just love to be an an economic position to send flowers after every visit to someones home but that's just not realistic. I  do try to make sure that people who have hosted me multiple times do get flowers at one point and I usually ask the florist to keep it at $50. If this is too much I recommend getting flowers from the store, nicely arranging and leaving on their doorstep while at work - half the cost of delivered flowers but just as thoughtful.
 
 

 

Helping you Out / Supporting

If your friend provided you a ride when your car was in the shop, watched your kids when a last minute situation came up, or helped you moved into your new place they should get a note. I don't care if you have known this person since you were 5, thank them verbally, thank them in writing and if you can afford it thank them with a token of appreciation. Also, if someone came out to support an event important to you thank them for that as well. They probably got something for their support so no gift is necessary.

MandySue Tip

When my mother died I was obsessed with sending out the acknowledgement cards. I was raised writing thank you notes and this reflected upon her - I HAD to send them. At some point I got exhausted and just couldn't keep up. I'm sure I missed someone who deserved my thanks. Just remember it's never too late to thank someone. You can acknowledge your tardiness but let them know how much the support has meant to you. Use this for any situation in your life as appropriate.
 
 

 

Just Because

Honestly, who doesn't like to get REAL mail that isn't bills? These are the best notes because they are unexpected. If I go to your bridal shower and a few weeks later I have a card with your return address I don't have to open it to know what's up. Oh, but if a card appears for no reason than it's suddenly a pleasant surprise. You can thank people for being a good friend, for being a mentor, send a note to your significant other just to say I love you and I'm happy to have you in my life or whatever. I started doing this in June 2012 and Its been a really positive experience.  
 
 
 
So those are just a few situations when it's appropriate but really I don't think there's ever a time when a thank you note is inappropriate. My personal opinion is that if you don't send a thank you note for gifts at the very least you have the potential to come off an an entitled jerk. And to be honest, you might not receive a gift from me in the future. So here's some rules on sending notes:
 
1. Wedding gift thanks need to be sent within a year. This is a few cards a day max even if you had a huge wedding. You can do it!
2. Send a thank you for one event / gift before asking / inviting to another. So if you get preggers right away than sorry but you better move up your wedding gift timeline. Don't be the jerk sending a baby shower invite when the wedding present was never acknowledged. Ditto if you invite people to support your special causes
3. Acknowledgment cards after a family members death should also go out within a year. But honestly if you miss it, it's more of a you'll feel guilty thing. Only jerks really expect these cards and timely
4. I'm not sure of specific rules on post baby thanks but think of it this way, if you can grow and entire person in 9 months than you can your notes out too.
5. Try really hard to send an invite within a week of being entertained by a friend. TRY. Life gets in the way. I'm terrible at this myself, but its a nice goal to have.
6. Keep bright, busy, glittery, fun stationary for more informal thanks and keep the serious stuff for the serious occasions
7. Generic thank you. DON'T DO IT.! It's totally cool to have a picture from your wedding on your card. What's not cool is getting the card pre-printed to see than you for attending and then not write an acknowledgement of the gift. So not cool.
8. Don't make excuses for yourself. Everyone is busy. If you write one note a day , which takes 5 minutes, until they are all done you will get all your notes out much faster than waiting for that 3 hour window to write them all
9. Involve your husband if applicapble - it's ya'lls wedding, y'alls baby and you were invited to dinner together so why shouldn't he help?
10. Keep a list, sending thank you notes twice could be super awkward.

Comments

  1. L-O-V-E!! I am a stickler for thank you cards. I've pretty much accepted that most people don't send them and I don't get easily offended anymore for not receiving one....but I write them and my kids write them. My 7 and 8 year olds wrote their own cards for Christmas gifts this year and they were hilarious! Very short and to the point - "thanks for the ____" - but they took time to write them and color the picture I had printed on the front! I got more response from people getting their cards than ever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I love hearing about kids wirtting cards, they're so cute! Something like that would totally make it onto my fridge.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Spring Styles to Wear Now

Is it just me or is 2019 passing along quickly? Welcome to March which is said to come in like a lion and out like a lamb. Sometimes fashion seasons and the weather don't match up but the fashion show must go on! While I'm waiting for the weather to catch up I'm wearing some new spring items with some added warmth now and I'll wear them without the layers later. Here's just a few examples of how you can take spring items and start wearing them now. One of my favorite items to wear is a loose tunic - they are comfortable, cute and flattering. While I love a tunic with skinny jeans right now it needs a little extra layer for warmth so I'm topping this tunic I picked up at the Southern Women's Show with my utility jacket. When the weather warms up I'll either wear with the jeans alone, white pants or even a khaki skirt. Wear It Now Wear It Later

I came across this pink dress I just had to have it - it's so fun and super flattering. To wear …

Body Confidence

I have people tell me a lot that "I'm so confident" with such a tone of surprise and while really I think it's just that I'm a plus size women who happens to be loud and doesn't try to hide from the world but sometimes if I'm in a sensitive mood I'll take that as umm, don't you own a mirror, you should maybe be quiet and go to the gym. I'd say about 90% of the time I can say although I don't have my ideal body I don't hate myself and I don't let it keep me from living my life but then there's that 10% of the time . . .

Last week I had such a moment, You may have noticed that my pics I post on social media are either of me standing or are chest up if I'm sitting - now this is partially because I typically only take pics seated if I'm showing off a product so I was a more close up anyway but also here's something this people never have to think about - when you're plus size and you sit down if consolidates all t…

Lauren James Warehouse Sale Haul

Hello Friends! I know many of y'all kept up with my Lauren James warehouse sale journey over the weekend and if you're anything like me you like following along even if you couldn't make it yourself. When Lauren James announced the warehouse sale I was super excited but not sure I could make it work - it was short notice, a five hour drive and I'd already spent my June spending money. Luckily I have a good hubby who recognizes that sometimes you just need something fun in your life and was ok not only making the trip but with me borrowing from ourselves against my July spending money. Since this is the last warehouse sale Lauren James plans on holding I really didn't want the opportunity to slip by.
Warehouse sales can serve many purposes for a business - as a way to move excess inventory, create buzz and excitement for the brand, reward the most loyal brand fans by giving them access to great deal (which also puts more product into the hands of those most excite…

Lane Bryant Best Fitting Denim

Ask 100 women what is the most versatile items in their closet and I bet 98% will say a pair of jeans. As I mentioned in my 2019 wardrobe goals getting another pair of jeans is on my closet to do this year since right now I only have one pair. And wouldn't you know it but the folks at Lane Bryant must have read my mind since they're offering the Best Fitting Denim event this upcoming weekend and they have asked me to be their special guest so not only I could find my own perfect fitting jeans but help y'all do the same. Lane Bryant offers a good variety of jeans not only in shape but in color, wash and fun details. Before showing the perfect pair for me here's a look at just a few of the options. It was really nice to be able to play around with the wash, length and fit so see what I liked about each.


Although I LOVE the fun ruffle and ribbon embellishments I felt like a traditional pair of jeans matches my lifestyle. I tried on the straight leg and boot cut three ti…