Sometimes it doesn't feel real. Today is one of those days where the memories of my mother's death seem like a bad dream more than something that actually happened. It's almost been two years and I still catch myself thinking I should giver her a call or see if she wants to have lunch on Saturday, but before I get the chance to start a text or call I remember, it's not a dream and I am flooded with the emotions of accepting this news all over again just like it's the first time. It's an odd feeling this feeling like reality has been suspended and I'm living in an alternative universe, sometimes the feeling is so strong I don't even feel like I'm in my own body, like I'm watching myself go through the motions rather than actually doing them - this particular feeling never lasts more than a few seconds and I spend way more time being spooked and trying to ground myself back into the present moment. I thought as time went on it would get easier, but if anything it's gotten worse. I really didn't expect that. To be quite honest, I'm thinking of starting up my counselor appointments again.
Ugh, I really didn't mean to start this off on such a Debbie Downer note but y'all know I've never been one to shy away from reality or emotions on here. What I do want to talk about today is the fast that Mother's Day is coming up. Right now there's a great video all over facebook about how being a Mom is the hardest job in the world - true that. My dog Haley has a sensitive stomach and every time she gets sick all I can think is this is payback for all the times I was sick in the middle of the night. I got sick a lot as a kid, ear infections once a month until I hit the 1st grade and then it was monthly strep throats until my tonsils came out. Plus I used to eat licorice because my Dad likes licorice and my tummy does not like licorice, to this day I can't even drink licorice-esque flavored alcohol. I hit puberty and started getting migraines, a lot. When I became a teen it seems I could finally go over a month without staying home sick but then there was all that drama to deal with, from sneak smoking to my life is over because I don't have a brand new car, to wrecking the car I did have, to crying my eyes out b/c the girls in the locker room made fun of my big boobs - very silly super dramatic teenage stuff. On one hand when I got off to college I'm sure it was a relief from the daily drama but I know I caused a lot of worry being far away from home surrounded by booze and liberals.
Point being all in all I was actually a good kid growing up yet still managed to cause plenty of gray hairs. As adults it's important we recognize this and if she's still here take the time to appreciate our Moms. I don't talk about how I have really hard days without my mom to make you sad or feel sorry for me but to make you appreciate how great it is if your Mom is still here and you can still give her a Saturday afternoon lets have lunch phone call. With Easter passed I hope you will focus on Mother's Day as the next big holiday - it's May 11th this year in case you needed a reminder.
This is me with my Mom from my birthday in 2008, I miss her a lot!
Did you know that Mother's Day is the #1 day for eating out in America? Yep, because we still live by the tradition that Mom does all the cooking at home. For year I tried to right the right Mother's Day spot but found restaurants to be crowded, overpriced and too kid friendly (by this I mean I'm not happy spending $35 / person for a buffet mostly of chicken tenders and mac and cheese). A few years ago I gave up the good fight and hosted Mother's Day at my home and honestly my Mom liked that a lot more. I set the table springy with flowers in the center and then they were Mom's to take home at the end of the day - double duty flowers, yay! Here's the brunch menu I served:
sparkling wine and orange juice
you can get this pre-cut, mixed and ready to go at most grocery store produce sections
cooked sausage, 1 bag of cheddar cheese and a dozen whisked eggs mixed together and baked at 425 for 45 minutes
Hash brown Casserole
frozen hash browns, cheddar cheese, 1 can cream of chicken soup, and crushed up corn flakes mixed together and baked at 350 for 35 minutes
Fresh Market, Super Target and La Baguette all sell these
In my opinion on of the best sparkling wines for mimosas in the region is a wine called Tiara by the Crown Winery in Humboldt, TN which is a little over an hour away. If you're Mom is a wine drinker it would be a nice visit to make. But you could also get a bottle to give Mom to take home as well, maybe even create queen for the day theme if you like themes like that - I do.
I realize a lot of you reading this not only have a mother but a mother in law. You may even be a mother yourself. If you're a mother yourself you should point your husband to this post, I even provided the recipe info : ) But also, please don't get caught up in this being "your" day. I know, I just talked about how hard being a mom is and you're living in the trenches of motherhood right now. I'm not saying you don't deserve a special day - hint to the spouses - your wife deserves many special days, buy this lady a spa gift certificate and some time alone! But remember that your mother and your mother-in-law have been doing this a lot longer, and not to be depressing but have less mother's days left than you so let them be the stars; plus this will teach your children the importance of respecting their elders and won't that be nice when you're the mother in law?
A lot of parents of adult children have gotten to the point in life where if they want a gold necklace or new purse they can go out and just buy it - what they really want and value is your time and thought. Making your mother and mother in law the stars of the day will really mean a lot to them. And don't forget to involve the kids - perhaps they can make the seating cards if you're hosting a brunch at home, make a handmade card with a cute poem or do other cute kid like things. Even if your mother in law is the wicked witch of the west still have the kids do something nice for her - she raised a person good enough for you to marry after all.
If you do want to go out of eat you should be making reservations now. There's also plenty of nice family friendly activities in Memphis to consider doing - the Zoo, Redbirds, Shelby farms, the Botanic Gardens,and the Dixon are all super nice this time of year. Wherever you decide to go just remember it's the specialness of the time together that counts the most.
Happy Almost Mother's Day Y'all!