Like most people I know Facebook is a major source of information on the world outside my home and I check it multiple times a day. Yesterday I came across a great little article on dating that I just had to laugh at:
I understand what the author is saying about romance is easier said than done when kids are in the picture but she is majorly over glamorizing the pre kid single days. Maybe for the first few dates I might have bought a new outfit or spent two hours getting ready but that's not a sustainable way of living and kids have nothing to do with it. Now in my laughter I did have to remind myself that I did in fact spend all afternoon Saturday at the mall but I assure you this is an exceptionally rare occurrence. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I spend my nights at fabulous champagne cocktail parties and my days sleeping in until noon.
This is NOT my life
Ok fine, I just ordered a similar sleep mask off Etsy, but that has much more to do with my chronic migraine issues than a life of parties.
But seriously, minus the little humans dependent upon me for survival, my life isn't that terribly different from my Mom friends. Five days a week I go to work, I think about what to make for dinner on my drive home and go over mental lists of things I need to do like drop things at the dry cleaner or get stamps at the post office - super glamourous, right? I pay bills, grocery shop in yoga pants and only shave twice a week during legging / tights season. Although the absence of little humans allows me to stay late at work when I had a day full of meetings and need to get stuff done or take on volunteer projects it doesn't exempt me from adult responsibilities, a toilet that needs to be cleaned, or human bodily functions. A typical date night involves debating where to go, figuring out who's turn it is to pay, maybe changing into nicer clothes if we're both not tired from work / too hungry to care, discussing deep topics like when was the last time the dogs were let out and if we need to stop by target for milk on the way home, a reminder that we are in legging season when I get the look of suggestiveness from Shaun and then his shrug of indifference at this, and then getting into our comfy jammies and playing on our phones when all is said and done. Did I just blow your mind with all that romance? Regardless of martial status and the presence of kids when you sleep next to the same person every night there comes a point when they see what you really look like vs the hours getting ready you looks like.
I'm getting to the age where I do have peers having kids but for the most part most of the people I know with kids are a little older and make a little more. Sure I might upload a pic of my Kate Spade Beau bag, because its gorgeous and I love it, but it's not an everyday purchase. Pics of hey, check out this purse I'm carrying that I've owned for eight years or this is what my I haven't had time to go to the salon roots look like just aren't that interesting or Instagram worthy. For the most part I lead a normal, boring everyday life. Except for a few people which much better than the average person their age jobs or family inheritance I don't know people flush with cash enough to buy a new outfit, makeup and get salon treatments every week or with the time for all that. I only get manicures for special ocassions and go longer than I should between pedicures. Sometimes a nice dinner and over priced cocktails makes it into the budget, often it does not.
In general I think we as a society over glamorize the life of others and even our own past. We all have the friend who seemingly has the perfect kids, house and husband but we never look at that friend and think wow, it must suck working 80 hours a week to afford that private school tuition. I for one look back at college and think about all the fun I had and conveniently leave out the D I got in Operations Management or countless hours of boring textbook reading. Life, in its many phases is full of complications and as far as I can tell there's nothing that exempts one from that. So next time you think of another lifestyle and how fabulous it must be cut that fabulousness in half and you might just find your own life to be the more fabulous one after all.