Skip to main content

Tiara Brides

Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bit princessey . . . And that's not always a good thing. And so from the moment when I announced my engagement (or the case within my family when Shaun called my Dad to ask for his blessing before buying the ring) I am sure there were expectations about the type of bride I would be and honestly it's been a little bit of an internal struggle. From the get-go I was anti-tiara. Yes, you read that right. 

I'm going to be 32 at the time of my wedding, my fiancé and I have lived together for two years . . . There's no fooling anyone if you know what I mean so why wear a white poufy dress with a veil and tiara like I'm some virginal debutant , why not dress like a grown woman who does grown woman things. But wouldn't you know it, my sweet groom sees me as his princess and his vision included a big white poufy dress. And so while I kissed my vision of an a-line champagne colored gown goodbye and managed to find a more standard bridal looking gown I love I still resisted the idea of the tiara. 

In general I'm having a lot of fun planning our wedding and being a bride and my social media posts would indicate I've drank the bridal kool-aid but there's still one big part of the bride culture I refuse to embrace - the "it's MY day mindset" and I feel like this is the behavior of your average tiara bride. Yes tiara brides, it is your wedding day but you do not own the day. I really just can't understand the mindset of wanting to share ones wedding with family and friends but then treating those people like crap because "it's my day". 

Top on my list of tiara bride offensese would be assigning duties to bridal party members. Bridesmaids are best friends, they are not personal crafting armies, personal assistants or photo props and shame on anyone who would select their bridal party based on what they can do for you instead of your closest friends. I've been in several wedding chat groups since getting engaged and I've see brides who demand a shower , demand a bachelorette trip with their expenses covered by the bridal party, demand bridesmaids "help" with planning and DIY and think this is perfectly normal because "it's expected of the bridal party" agh . . . No it's not! It is very kind and gracious of bridesmaids to throw a shower but it is absolutly not required. If I see one more bride refer to bridesmaids having their hair and makeup done for her wedding or stupid robes she wants for her getting ready pictures as a gift I'm going to scream. 

One thing that shocks me the most is the guest list rules the new generation of brides has decided to make up. Personally I think being invited to a wedding solo sucks but it's understandable. But I am shocked at the number of brides who think it's ok to invite someone without a significant other. If someone is not close enough to you that you respect their relationship than they have no business on your guest list at all. Stop being so gift grabby. No one wants to celebrate your relationship when you can't even acknowledge theirs. 

At some point our society decided that every bride is entitled to a pretty pretty princess day no matter what her budget may be and obviously everyone should want to see her pretty pretty princess day. A reception used to be a way for the new mr and mrs to formally receive their guests, hear their congratulations and thank them for coming to the wedding but now it is apparently a time for all of the couple's friends "to get a free meal". Why cant people just come in their best attire, oh and ah over the bride, drop off their pricey gift and leave without expecting a meal, don't they know what a burden that is damn it - that money could go towards more crystals on the brides dress, whaaaah! Seriously - free meal - that is how a tiara bride refers to offering hospitality to people who have taken time from their own lives and spent money to attend the wedding, isn't that charming?

And speaking of gifts, don't even get me started on brides who feel the are "owed" by their guest (in the form of cash of course). Apparently in some areas it's "tradition" for guests to cover their plate - ie gift the bride and groom the amount in cash that is at least what it costs to be hosted. WTF? If I wanted a bunch of cash I just would have had a small wedding and the idea that people would try to compensate us for having them mortifies me. Setting up our registry was all fun because it my mind it's like my Amazon wish list - a list of things I want that slowly over time I purchase - and of course the idea of having dinner parties thrills me but at some point I had this oh crap moment when I realized that putting something on our registry means we're in a way asking for it. Look, I like stuff but I like BUYING stuff, not expecting it like some sacrificial offering. If someone wants to buy us some wine glasses we'll use for all our special ocassions (days that end in y count as special, right?) that'd be really sweet of them but if not I'll just build a set overtime. 

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like when a normal, usually sweet, woman slaps a tiara on her head she morphs into this LOOK AT ME diva without any regard to those around her. An apparently I'm a rare bride who cares about her guests and makes wedding decisions on what the people invited to the wedding might like. If anyone leaves my wedding hungry, tired or feeling unappreciated than I will have failed in my role of the bride and I'd much rather act the part than look the part. 

 

Comments

Amazon

Popular posts from this blog

Custom Hair Care with Formulate

I've had short hair most of my life, but the past few years I have been growing my hair out and one thing has become very clear - long hair is a commitment. And long hair that has been color treated for years is a project, which is why I was so excited when the team at Formulate reached out to have me try their new custom shampoo and conditioner. Even better yet - we have teamed up to give one lucky reader their own custom set for FREE!

Enter GIVEAWAY here! Getting hair care customized for your hair sounds complicated but the process was very simple as a consumer - I took a brief survey about my hair's current condition and what my hair goals were - you can pick up to five. I have a pretty oily scalp so that was my top priority but color protection, heat protection,. frizz and volume are also my concerns. I was then able to select my scent and strength - I like a strong scent in my shampoo that leaves a light linger and selected the green apple - I've been getting complime…

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Why I Blog

Years before I had an instagram account I had a Yelp account and I must admit that my very first review was a terrible 1 star review. While I think honest good and bad experiences are valuable on review sites I realized that's not the person I wanted to be. Instead of only putting negative thoughts into the world I challenged myself that for every negative review to take the time to write five positive reviews. Soon I found myself gushing over businesses I love and writing reviews of businesses I was trying for the first time. Within a few months I was invited to join the Elite squad - now I  have over 250 reviews and have reached gold elite status - this means I've been on the squad for five years. As much as I enjoy sharing reviews I enjoy reading them. I'm a planner and researcher by nature so before I go anywhere I want to know as much as possible. For example, when we go out to California we're going to have tea at the Hello Kitty Grand Café - I have read every …

This is Us

Y’all this year I was so excited for our anniversary activity - the 2nd anniversary traditional gift is cotton and there was a cotton field nearby. The website said “mid October” would be the perfect time for pictures so I booked a session for our anniversary weekend on the 21st. We stop by the field the day before to check it out and it was all gone. Even though no harvest date was listed on the website a week earlier it had since been updated that the cotton was harvested that Friday – seriously, they couldn’t have given one more weekend for photos, grr! All the other cotton fields were too far away so I cried how our anniversary was ruined. We wound up moving photos to the same spot where we took our wedding photos and brought along the dogs to get our family Christmas card photo. This session did not go as well as I would have liked – Because I didn’t plan to originally have the dogs sweetie was not freshly groomed. My brand new sweater got snagged by one of the dogs getting in and…

Birthday Discounts

Woohoo! It's my birthday week y'all! Birthdays are always a great time for brands to make customers special and each year I'm able to take advantage of some pretty good discounts in July so I thought I would share the love and talk about some of my favorite discounts and how to get them.

My absolute favorite discount is from Kendra Scott! During your birthday month you can receive one regular item at 50% off. It's your first time you'll have to show your id in store and sign up for their email list but then once they have you on file you can just go into the store and say that you would like to apply your birthday discount to your purchase and give your email address. This year I purchased the Tatiana Long Pendant Necklace which usually sells for $175. This necklace takes the look of the popular Rayne necklace and really amps it up.  
If jewelry is your thing you can also get a $10 credit from Charming Charlie - this discount is sent to Charm Rewards members at the…