Skip to main content

Tiara Brides

Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bit princessey . . . And that's not always a good thing. And so from the moment when I announced my engagement (or the case within my family when Shaun called my Dad to ask for his blessing before buying the ring) I am sure there were expectations about the type of bride I would be and honestly it's been a little bit of an internal struggle. From the get-go I was anti-tiara. Yes, you read that right. 

I'm going to be 32 at the time of my wedding, my fiancé and I have lived together for two years . . . There's no fooling anyone if you know what I mean so why wear a white poufy dress with a veil and tiara like I'm some virginal debutant , why not dress like a grown woman who does grown woman things. But wouldn't you know it, my sweet groom sees me as his princess and his vision included a big white poufy dress. And so while I kissed my vision of an a-line champagne colored gown goodbye and managed to find a more standard bridal looking gown I love I still resisted the idea of the tiara. 

In general I'm having a lot of fun planning our wedding and being a bride and my social media posts would indicate I've drank the bridal kool-aid but there's still one big part of the bride culture I refuse to embrace - the "it's MY day mindset" and I feel like this is the behavior of your average tiara bride. Yes tiara brides, it is your wedding day but you do not own the day. I really just can't understand the mindset of wanting to share ones wedding with family and friends but then treating those people like crap because "it's my day". 

Top on my list of tiara bride offensese would be assigning duties to bridal party members. Bridesmaids are best friends, they are not personal crafting armies, personal assistants or photo props and shame on anyone who would select their bridal party based on what they can do for you instead of your closest friends. I've been in several wedding chat groups since getting engaged and I've see brides who demand a shower , demand a bachelorette trip with their expenses covered by the bridal party, demand bridesmaids "help" with planning and DIY and think this is perfectly normal because "it's expected of the bridal party" agh . . . No it's not! It is very kind and gracious of bridesmaids to throw a shower but it is absolutly not required. If I see one more bride refer to bridesmaids having their hair and makeup done for her wedding or stupid robes she wants for her getting ready pictures as a gift I'm going to scream. 

One thing that shocks me the most is the guest list rules the new generation of brides has decided to make up. Personally I think being invited to a wedding solo sucks but it's understandable. But I am shocked at the number of brides who think it's ok to invite someone without a significant other. If someone is not close enough to you that you respect their relationship than they have no business on your guest list at all. Stop being so gift grabby. No one wants to celebrate your relationship when you can't even acknowledge theirs. 

At some point our society decided that every bride is entitled to a pretty pretty princess day no matter what her budget may be and obviously everyone should want to see her pretty pretty princess day. A reception used to be a way for the new mr and mrs to formally receive their guests, hear their congratulations and thank them for coming to the wedding but now it is apparently a time for all of the couple's friends "to get a free meal". Why cant people just come in their best attire, oh and ah over the bride, drop off their pricey gift and leave without expecting a meal, don't they know what a burden that is damn it - that money could go towards more crystals on the brides dress, whaaaah! Seriously - free meal - that is how a tiara bride refers to offering hospitality to people who have taken time from their own lives and spent money to attend the wedding, isn't that charming?

And speaking of gifts, don't even get me started on brides who feel the are "owed" by their guest (in the form of cash of course). Apparently in some areas it's "tradition" for guests to cover their plate - ie gift the bride and groom the amount in cash that is at least what it costs to be hosted. WTF? If I wanted a bunch of cash I just would have had a small wedding and the idea that people would try to compensate us for having them mortifies me. Setting up our registry was all fun because it my mind it's like my Amazon wish list - a list of things I want that slowly over time I purchase - and of course the idea of having dinner parties thrills me but at some point I had this oh crap moment when I realized that putting something on our registry means we're in a way asking for it. Look, I like stuff but I like BUYING stuff, not expecting it like some sacrificial offering. If someone wants to buy us some wine glasses we'll use for all our special ocassions (days that end in y count as special, right?) that'd be really sweet of them but if not I'll just build a set overtime. 

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like when a normal, usually sweet, woman slaps a tiara on her head she morphs into this LOOK AT ME diva without any regard to those around her. An apparently I'm a rare bride who cares about her guests and makes wedding decisions on what the people invited to the wedding might like. If anyone leaves my wedding hungry, tired or feeling unappreciated than I will have failed in my role of the bride and I'd much rather act the part than look the part. 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sensible Portions

I'm Sometimes you have to recognize your strengths and when it's time to outsource . For me a healthy lifestyle is not a strength. I love the idea of eating small healthy meals and working out everyday but then I get hangry and eat anything in sight. Or I have a busy weekend and don't have time to meal prep, and then I'm screwed for the week and one bad week turns into a bad month, and a bad year and a decade of gaining weight. So, when a sorority sister posted a meal plan she had found success with I was very interested. Shaun and I tried a similar program last year but it was very expensive ($170 for one person for 5 days) That's a great investment if you need to lose 10 or 20 lbs but when you have a lot to lose you need a long term plan that is viable from a time, nutrition and financial aspect. 
Long term it's still pricey but I was very impressed with the value and results of sensible portions and decided to give it a try. Like most meal plans the plan is …

Blue Vibes Living Room

I'm a pretty decisive person , so when we moved into our home in 2017 I had a pretty good idea of how I wanted to decorate most of the rooms and to me the living room is the most important. The living room is the heart of the home - it's where the family relaxes after a long day at work, where guests are entertained and one of the first impression you get of someone's home and style. But in 2017 decorating the living room I wanted just wasn't in the cards - but I'm a patient person when I really want something and was willing to wait.
Just like when I was planning our wedding when planning our home décor I turned to pinterest to find inspiration and hone in on what I was looking for. I knew that I wanted a blue velvet tufted sofa and quickly had about 20 on my new home board - but eventually one photo stood out and became the "pinspiration" for our living room.


This photo originally appeared on this blog post and is published here with the original cre…

Vineyard Vines for Target Picks

The annual Target collaboration is something I look forward to all year. From the time when the announcement is made until the look book is released I get antsy with anticipation and then once the look book comes out I scour over it and plan what I will get from the collection.
I love these collabs because a. I love target b. I love getting designer style at prices I can afford and c. target tends to collab with brands that don't offer plus sizes so it's a way for me to participate in a style I enjoy. This year's collab is with Vineyard Vines and I am PUMPED for the collection to be released tomorrow so I figured y'all might enjoy seeing my top picks from the collection.



This pink pullover is the target collection version of the VV Shep shirt. These are great for layering and simple classic style pieces. Since this is a spring collection I imagine this will be very lightweight. The whale shorts is quintessential VV and just adorable. They look to be a little short f…

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Go WILD, Y'all

I'm writing this post with a serious case of the Mondays as I'm recovering from Go Wild this past week. Go Wild is the annual conference run by the Wild for Planners group and it is so much fun! This year's conference was in Nashville and while there is was announced that 2018 will be in Austin, TX. In addition to bringing planner enthusiasts together this event also presents the opportunity to hear from great speakers, meet planner  / planner goodies suppliers and the part that people to notice the most - awesome swag.   I first found out about the group last year when some planner girls I followed posted on instagram about the conference. To an outsider it looks like oh fun, planner girls gathering and getting tons of swag - I want to go! But the reality is it's so much for than that and to be perfectly honest if you're only interested in the swag you'd be better off staying home and going on a shopping spree. Since everyone wants to know the most though wha…