Skip to main content

Tiara Brides

Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bit princessey . . . And that's not always a good thing. And so from the moment when I announced my engagement (or the case within my family when Shaun called my Dad to ask for his blessing before buying the ring) I am sure there were expectations about the type of bride I would be and honestly it's been a little bit of an internal struggle. From the get-go I was anti-tiara. Yes, you read that right. 

I'm going to be 32 at the time of my wedding, my fiancé and I have lived together for two years . . . There's no fooling anyone if you know what I mean so why wear a white poufy dress with a veil and tiara like I'm some virginal debutant , why not dress like a grown woman who does grown woman things. But wouldn't you know it, my sweet groom sees me as his princess and his vision included a big white poufy dress. And so while I kissed my vision of an a-line champagne colored gown goodbye and managed to find a more standard bridal looking gown I love I still resisted the idea of the tiara. 

In general I'm having a lot of fun planning our wedding and being a bride and my social media posts would indicate I've drank the bridal kool-aid but there's still one big part of the bride culture I refuse to embrace - the "it's MY day mindset" and I feel like this is the behavior of your average tiara bride. Yes tiara brides, it is your wedding day but you do not own the day. I really just can't understand the mindset of wanting to share ones wedding with family and friends but then treating those people like crap because "it's my day". 

Top on my list of tiara bride offensese would be assigning duties to bridal party members. Bridesmaids are best friends, they are not personal crafting armies, personal assistants or photo props and shame on anyone who would select their bridal party based on what they can do for you instead of your closest friends. I've been in several wedding chat groups since getting engaged and I've see brides who demand a shower , demand a bachelorette trip with their expenses covered by the bridal party, demand bridesmaids "help" with planning and DIY and think this is perfectly normal because "it's expected of the bridal party" agh . . . No it's not! It is very kind and gracious of bridesmaids to throw a shower but it is absolutly not required. If I see one more bride refer to bridesmaids having their hair and makeup done for her wedding or stupid robes she wants for her getting ready pictures as a gift I'm going to scream. 

One thing that shocks me the most is the guest list rules the new generation of brides has decided to make up. Personally I think being invited to a wedding solo sucks but it's understandable. But I am shocked at the number of brides who think it's ok to invite someone without a significant other. If someone is not close enough to you that you respect their relationship than they have no business on your guest list at all. Stop being so gift grabby. No one wants to celebrate your relationship when you can't even acknowledge theirs. 

At some point our society decided that every bride is entitled to a pretty pretty princess day no matter what her budget may be and obviously everyone should want to see her pretty pretty princess day. A reception used to be a way for the new mr and mrs to formally receive their guests, hear their congratulations and thank them for coming to the wedding but now it is apparently a time for all of the couple's friends "to get a free meal". Why cant people just come in their best attire, oh and ah over the bride, drop off their pricey gift and leave without expecting a meal, don't they know what a burden that is damn it - that money could go towards more crystals on the brides dress, whaaaah! Seriously - free meal - that is how a tiara bride refers to offering hospitality to people who have taken time from their own lives and spent money to attend the wedding, isn't that charming?

And speaking of gifts, don't even get me started on brides who feel the are "owed" by their guest (in the form of cash of course). Apparently in some areas it's "tradition" for guests to cover their plate - ie gift the bride and groom the amount in cash that is at least what it costs to be hosted. WTF? If I wanted a bunch of cash I just would have had a small wedding and the idea that people would try to compensate us for having them mortifies me. Setting up our registry was all fun because it my mind it's like my Amazon wish list - a list of things I want that slowly over time I purchase - and of course the idea of having dinner parties thrills me but at some point I had this oh crap moment when I realized that putting something on our registry means we're in a way asking for it. Look, I like stuff but I like BUYING stuff, not expecting it like some sacrificial offering. If someone wants to buy us some wine glasses we'll use for all our special ocassions (days that end in y count as special, right?) that'd be really sweet of them but if not I'll just build a set overtime. 

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like when a normal, usually sweet, woman slaps a tiara on her head she morphs into this LOOK AT ME diva without any regard to those around her. An apparently I'm a rare bride who cares about her guests and makes wedding decisions on what the people invited to the wedding might like. If anyone leaves my wedding hungry, tired or feeling unappreciated than I will have failed in my role of the bride and I'd much rather act the part than look the part. 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sensible Portions

I'm Sometimes you have to recognize your strengths and when it's time to outsource . For me a healthy lifestyle is not a strength. I love the idea of eating small healthy meals and working out everyday but then I get hangry and eat anything in sight. Or I have a busy weekend and don't have time to meal prep, and then I'm screwed for the week and one bad week turns into a bad month, and a bad year and a decade of gaining weight. So, when a sorority sister posted a meal plan she had found success with I was very interested. Shaun and I tried a similar program last year but it was very expensive ($170 for one person for 5 days) That's a great investment if you need to lose 10 or 20 lbs but when you have a lot to lose you need a long term plan that is viable from a time, nutrition and financial aspect. 
Long term it's still pricey but I was very impressed with the value and results of sensible portions and decided to give it a try. Like most meal plans the plan is …

Plum Paper Designs - Fitness Insert

I know I say this every year but this year I also want to make wellness / fitness a priority. It's hard for me to get in the mindset of making it important because quite frankly it's not something my doctor gets onto me about. But during 2015 I've been making a switch to a more natural lifestyle and that has put fitness back at my top of mind. So, for $4.50 I got the fitness section added onto my Plum Paper Designs Planner 
Here's what's inside: 

A summary sheet at the front: 

A monthly layout for 12 months
Weight Loss Tracker at the Back 

I LOVE the monthly layout! First off, having a hydration tracker for each day is going to be so nice. I also love the idea of holding myself accountable to writing down an activity (or excuse) each day. Most of all I love the recognition that each month will have different goals and includes some note sections ; one thing I hear a lot form people who successfully got fit was that they had some kind of tracking and were able to go back…

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

What’s in the bag : Toiletry Essentials to Pack for Your Next Trip

I’ve  been traveling so much lately so I’ve pretty much got packing down to a science. Planning for a trip can be stressful so I’m here to make it a little easier for you and talk about the necessities, today were specifically talking about what’s in the toiletry bag. As a special treat I have teamed up with Smile Brilliant for a giveaway at the end of this post!!! When thinking about necessities I first think about the things I don’t need - hotels always have shampoo, conditioner and a hairdryer so I never bring my own to save space.  I then think about what items I use at home that I can go without for the week vs. what I use everyday. I also try to think about  products that are good for multipurpose; facial oil is a great example as I use it for a makeup remover at night , a moisturizer in the morning and I also use a small amount on the ends of my hair. Through this I’ve been able to narrow it down to only ten items.
1. Hairbrush

2. Deodorant

3. Toothbrush

4. Toothpaste

5. Facia…

Top Ten Trends for Fall and What to Buy Now

I received several questions about the Nordstrom sale and this year I really felt like I would bite the bullet and make a post with recommendations and while I see myself always browsing the sale to see what's up and I'm not closed to doing a round up post in the future after reviewing this year's sale I just can't find the patience to put an entire post together. I always want this blog to be a place where I am authentic and real and not just a place to spew out what's popular but rather what trends speak to me. And I hate to disappoint people , I'm very flattered that there have been people to reach out and ask about my recommendations but I don't want to recommend things just for the sake of recommending things. I prefer to shop in season and with the weather in Memphis I just won't be wearing fall items until late October. Plus, a lot of the items I saw in the sale I liked are similar to items I already own and I don't need to be buying duplic…