Skip to main content

Tiara Brides

Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bit princessey . . . And that's not always a good thing. And so from the moment when I announced my engagement (or the case within my family when Shaun called my Dad to ask for his blessing before buying the ring) I am sure there were expectations about the type of bride I would be and honestly it's been a little bit of an internal struggle. From the get-go I was anti-tiara. Yes, you read that right. 

I'm going to be 32 at the time of my wedding, my fiancé and I have lived together for two years . . . There's no fooling anyone if you know what I mean so why wear a white poufy dress with a veil and tiara like I'm some virginal debutant , why not dress like a grown woman who does grown woman things. But wouldn't you know it, my sweet groom sees me as his princess and his vision included a big white poufy dress. And so while I kissed my vision of an a-line champagne colored gown goodbye and managed to find a more standard bridal looking gown I love I still resisted the idea of the tiara. 

In general I'm having a lot of fun planning our wedding and being a bride and my social media posts would indicate I've drank the bridal kool-aid but there's still one big part of the bride culture I refuse to embrace - the "it's MY day mindset" and I feel like this is the behavior of your average tiara bride. Yes tiara brides, it is your wedding day but you do not own the day. I really just can't understand the mindset of wanting to share ones wedding with family and friends but then treating those people like crap because "it's my day". 

Top on my list of tiara bride offensese would be assigning duties to bridal party members. Bridesmaids are best friends, they are not personal crafting armies, personal assistants or photo props and shame on anyone who would select their bridal party based on what they can do for you instead of your closest friends. I've been in several wedding chat groups since getting engaged and I've see brides who demand a shower , demand a bachelorette trip with their expenses covered by the bridal party, demand bridesmaids "help" with planning and DIY and think this is perfectly normal because "it's expected of the bridal party" agh . . . No it's not! It is very kind and gracious of bridesmaids to throw a shower but it is absolutly not required. If I see one more bride refer to bridesmaids having their hair and makeup done for her wedding or stupid robes she wants for her getting ready pictures as a gift I'm going to scream. 

One thing that shocks me the most is the guest list rules the new generation of brides has decided to make up. Personally I think being invited to a wedding solo sucks but it's understandable. But I am shocked at the number of brides who think it's ok to invite someone without a significant other. If someone is not close enough to you that you respect their relationship than they have no business on your guest list at all. Stop being so gift grabby. No one wants to celebrate your relationship when you can't even acknowledge theirs. 

At some point our society decided that every bride is entitled to a pretty pretty princess day no matter what her budget may be and obviously everyone should want to see her pretty pretty princess day. A reception used to be a way for the new mr and mrs to formally receive their guests, hear their congratulations and thank them for coming to the wedding but now it is apparently a time for all of the couple's friends "to get a free meal". Why cant people just come in their best attire, oh and ah over the bride, drop off their pricey gift and leave without expecting a meal, don't they know what a burden that is damn it - that money could go towards more crystals on the brides dress, whaaaah! Seriously - free meal - that is how a tiara bride refers to offering hospitality to people who have taken time from their own lives and spent money to attend the wedding, isn't that charming?

And speaking of gifts, don't even get me started on brides who feel the are "owed" by their guest (in the form of cash of course). Apparently in some areas it's "tradition" for guests to cover their plate - ie gift the bride and groom the amount in cash that is at least what it costs to be hosted. WTF? If I wanted a bunch of cash I just would have had a small wedding and the idea that people would try to compensate us for having them mortifies me. Setting up our registry was all fun because it my mind it's like my Amazon wish list - a list of things I want that slowly over time I purchase - and of course the idea of having dinner parties thrills me but at some point I had this oh crap moment when I realized that putting something on our registry means we're in a way asking for it. Look, I like stuff but I like BUYING stuff, not expecting it like some sacrificial offering. If someone wants to buy us some wine glasses we'll use for all our special ocassions (days that end in y count as special, right?) that'd be really sweet of them but if not I'll just build a set overtime. 

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like when a normal, usually sweet, woman slaps a tiara on her head she morphs into this LOOK AT ME diva without any regard to those around her. An apparently I'm a rare bride who cares about her guests and makes wedding decisions on what the people invited to the wedding might like. If anyone leaves my wedding hungry, tired or feeling unappreciated than I will have failed in my role of the bride and I'd much rather act the part than look the part. 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Medical Facial at Ashtoria

Y'all, it has been soooooo long since I've tried a new beauty treatment to share with y'all. Partially because I've fallen into a skin care routine but also partially because it hasn't been an areas of focus, which is terrible because taking care of your skin should always be an area of focus. Lucky for me the ladies as Ashtoria were able to get me back on track.  

I recently found out about Ashtoria while attending an event at The Shops of Carriage Crossing and was excited to learn about the medical aesthetics offerings. Although I put a hold on getting Botox a few years ago I'm always down to check out the latest in anti aging. I'd love to one day get laser treatments but I don'[t feel like I'm there yet so for an entry level introduction into the Ashtoria offerings I decided to book a medical grade facial. One thing that I typically find overwhelming when thinking about getting a facial is there can be so many types to choose from and I'm u…

$40 Date - Sushi Jimmi

For the longest time in Memphis some of the best sushi in town came from a gas station. Everyone from Memphis reading this is now nodding and smiling and everyone out of town now has now scrunched up their face and is saying "eww". But seriously, "Sushi Jimmi" has been making sushi daily and delivering it to be sold in the little pre-packed containers for years and it is so good. Luckily for Memphians we can now get this delicious sushi fresh and it's a prefect place for a casual date night. Sushi Jimmi is not a fancy or hip décor filled sushi joint - it's in an old Wendy's. But it's clean, convenient and most of all -cheap! Here's the menu: The sushi rolls are very generous! We are able to go and split the crawfish nachos and one sushi roll so with tax and tip we can get out on $30.
The Godzilla Roll
Spicy Crawfish Nachos The food comes out pretty quickly so we're usually in and out in an hour leaving us time to catch a movie at the $3 …

Gingham Style for Any Size

Oh my goodness, I think we skipped spring and went straight to summer in Memphis y’all!And considering the weather won’t even think of cooling down until the end of October I’m looking at a long stretch of needing warm weather clothing. Now don’t get me wrong, I love floral just as much as the next girly girl but my favorite spring / summer print is actually gingham.

I knew I wanted to talk more about gingham I didn’t want to just show y’all the same pieces you’ve already seen me in and I also wanted to show how gingham is something truly for everyone– luckily I have a great tribe of blogger babes in Memphis so I can share with you gingham styled differently and worn on different sizes!
When Denise and Magen agreed to show off gingham style with me I kept the guidelines pretty simple – wear something gingham. So I love how with no planning on our parts not only did we all style gingham differently and pick different colors we also picked different pieces.
I would love to buy a gingham …

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Anti Aging High vs Low Review

I recently received the Iconic Edition of the Sephora Play Box (read my review here) and one of the products I was most excited to try out was Crème de La Mer The Moisturizing Soft Cream because well it's super famous and also hella expensive so of course I wanted to know what's the big deal. The .24 oz sample included was enough for about two week's use - so a one ounce jar would last about 2 months. About a week in as I was getting ready in the morning I starting noticing that my skin did indeed look different - I looked clearer and under my eyes my lines looked a little softer and my circles less dark. I took this selfie to document my skins look - because #vain - plus I knew I would need it for this longer review. I think there's still room for improve with my skin's texture but it had only been a week.
My problem was that a month's supply - the .5 oz jar - is $85 and while that might not seem bad to some it is in major conflict with my goal of being fina…