Skip to main content

Body Confidence


I have people tell me a lot that "I'm so confident" with such a tone of surprise and while really I think it's just that I'm a plus size women who happens to be loud and doesn't try to hide from the world but sometimes if I'm in a sensitive mood I'll take that as umm, don't you own a mirror, you should maybe be quiet and go to the gym. I'd say about 90% of the time I can say although I don't have my ideal body I don't hate myself and I don't let it keep me from living my life but then there's that 10% of the time . . .

Last week I had such a moment, You may have noticed that my pics I post on social media are either of me standing or are chest up if I'm sitting - now this is partially because I typically only take pics seated if I'm showing off a product so I was a more close up anyway but also here's something this people never have to think about - when you're plus size and you sit down if consolidates all the fat into a smaller space. Y'all - I HATE pics of myself seated - I look like a giant blob with a tiny head on top. Quick side note - I NEVER edit / Photoshop my body in pictures. Last week I attended an event and the host took a video panning over the crowd and posted it on IG stories - innocent enough but when it showed up in my feed later that night I was literally shocked to see myself and had to go back and watch again - no, that's not me I thought to myself, that's not what I look like. But it is, and I could wallow in self pity and tell myself hateful things or I could say hey girl, maybe this isn't what you want to look like right now but it doesn't make you any less worthy of loving yourself.


I know we're all body positivity and plus is pretty right now but you know what, a clever marketing tag line doesn't completely change years of ways of thinking about ones self. And I know for a fact that some of you are reading this and thinking well stop eating cake and go to the gym but first off - it's so much more than that and 2nd I very rarely actually eat cake. I know women who are thin and I look at and say wow, she's flawless and yet she still has insecurities about herself but for some reason culture has become lately that plus size women are not "allowed" to not love being plus size or have insecurities but you know what, we're human and we do. So if you're plus size and reading this I hope you'll realize you're not alone with your own insecurities or doubts, and if you're not plus size I hope you'll realize that your plus size friend doesn't eat a full cake a week or doesn't not care about her body.


But like I said, most of them time I do not think about these things and I just you know, live my life. So while I wanted to share with y'all some of my own insecurities to say hey it's ok, you're not then only one what I really want to share with you is how to get over it so the speak.


1. Recognize that the world does not revolve around you and honestly, most people do not care what you eat or what you wear - they are busy doing their own thing. I know it sounds harsh to say the rest of the world doesn't care about you but honestly realizing this is very freeing. You do you boo!  
2. If you look for negativity you will find  it - don't internalize everything and make it about yourself. The woman passing you on the street who doesn't look friendly - it's far more likely she's just having a bad day rather than offended by your presence.
3. With that said, there is going to be that one mean girl who is judging you, sometimes she might even verbalize it. Ignore it because here's the cold hard truth: it's not about you at all, it's about her and how she feels about herself.
4. Be a pineapple - stand tall and wear a crown (or you know a smile when a crown isn't appropriate). Smiling has scientifically been proven to boost your mood - don't think of it as owing the world a smile (I'm looking at you creepy dudes that tell women to smile) but that you owe yourself one. ALWAYS smile when you look at yourself in the mirror. Also, you will always look better with better posture.
5. Focus on what you do right instead of putting yourself down - Last week I went to the gym and only did 20 minutes of cardio. I could beat myself up over not doing more or I could say hey girl, you made the effort and you did something keep it up!
6. Your clothing should make you feel FABULOUS! Now, don't go broke and buy a new wardrobe but seriously, why are you wearing things you don't look great in? If you don't like anything you own well, start by building a small capsule and build up from there. I get that everyday isn't time for a ball gown or whatever else you might feel fabulous in but find a way to tone it down for everyday wear - do you feel amazing in your power suit? Than wear more blazers and structured pieces. Is it the ball gown for you - than wear more dresses and full A-line skirts.

7. Don't listen to everyone talking about fad diets. Unless you have a legitimate intolerance gluten is not killing you and sugar is not the spawn of Satan. If you're size two friend wants to chomp on celery that's fine but you are not a bad person for eating fruit or the occasional bowl of pasta. If you want to lose weight that's perfectly fine, but if you don't and you're healthy that's ok too.

8. Don't compare yourself to others. If you want to compete against yourself that's fine to a certain extent - don't waste your life moaning about not having the body you had when you were 16 - but do focus on bettering yourself. You might be on week 1 of your journey and the woman on the treadmill next to you is on year 5, who cares if she's running faster and longer.

9. It's never to late to be the person you want to be.

10. Be kind - be kind to yourself first but also others. You will find the more you stop looking at others as competition or as a way to make yourself feel better about yourself the more you will actually feel better about yourself. Crazy, I know!


So speaking of number 6 - I love wearing Tulle skirts, I don't care if they're "in fashion" or not but even I admit they're very girly so I love to pair it down with a casual top. Here's the outfit details for my outfit: 
 
***This is not a sponsored post, all opinions are my own***

Let's Connect! Follow me on Instagram , Facebook and Pinterest

xx,

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sensible Portions

I'm Sometimes you have to recognize your strengths and when it's time to outsource . For me a healthy lifestyle is not a strength. I love the idea of eating small healthy meals and working out everyday but then I get hangry and eat anything in sight. Or I have a busy weekend and don't have time to meal prep, and then I'm screwed for the week and one bad week turns into a bad month, and a bad year and a decade of gaining weight. So, when a sorority sister posted a meal plan she had found success with I was very interested. Shaun and I tried a similar program last year but it was very expensive ($170 for one person for 5 days) That's a great investment if you need to lose 10 or 20 lbs but when you have a lot to lose you need a long term plan that is viable from a time, nutrition and financial aspect. 
Long term it's still pricey but I was very impressed with the value and results of sensible portions and decided to give it a try. Like most meal plans the plan is …

Vineyard Vines for Target Picks

The annual Target collaboration is something I look forward to all year. From the time when the announcement is made until the look book is released I get antsy with anticipation and then once the look book comes out I scour over it and plan what I will get from the collection.
I love these collabs because a. I love target b. I love getting designer style at prices I can afford and c. target tends to collab with brands that don't offer plus sizes so it's a way for me to participate in a style I enjoy. This year's collab is with Vineyard Vines and I am PUMPED for the collection to be released tomorrow so I figured y'all might enjoy seeing my top picks from the collection.



This pink pullover is the target collection version of the VV Shep shirt. These are great for layering and simple classic style pieces. Since this is a spring collection I imagine this will be very lightweight. The whale shorts is quintessential VV and just adorable. They look to be a little short f…

Blue Vibes Living Room

I'm a pretty decisive person , so when we moved into our home in 2017 I had a pretty good idea of how I wanted to decorate most of the rooms and to me the living room is the most important. The living room is the heart of the home - it's where the family relaxes after a long day at work, where guests are entertained and one of the first impression you get of someone's home and style. But in 2017 decorating the living room I wanted just wasn't in the cards - but I'm a patient person when I really want something and was willing to wait.
Just like when I was planning our wedding when planning our home décor I turned to pinterest to find inspiration and hone in on what I was looking for. I knew that I wanted a blue velvet tufted sofa and quickly had about 20 on my new home board - but eventually one photo stood out and became the "pinspiration" for our living room.


This photo originally appeared on this blog post and is published here with the original cre…

Go WILD, Y'all

I'm writing this post with a serious case of the Mondays as I'm recovering from Go Wild this past week. Go Wild is the annual conference run by the Wild for Planners group and it is so much fun! This year's conference was in Nashville and while there is was announced that 2018 will be in Austin, TX. In addition to bringing planner enthusiasts together this event also presents the opportunity to hear from great speakers, meet planner  / planner goodies suppliers and the part that people to notice the most - awesome swag.   I first found out about the group last year when some planner girls I followed posted on instagram about the conference. To an outsider it looks like oh fun, planner girls gathering and getting tons of swag - I want to go! But the reality is it's so much for than that and to be perfectly honest if you're only interested in the swag you'd be better off staying home and going on a shopping spree. Since everyone wants to know the most though wha…

Gingham Style Color Three Ways

Anyone who knows me knows I love gingham for it's classic preppy style and versatility. I have several gingham tops and gingham dresses but am just now getting comfortable with wearing printed bottoms. In addition to being comfortable and perfect for summer I am loving these gingham pants from Jessica London because I can wear them with a variety of colors. The possibilities are endless but in this post we're taking a look at three different colors to pair with gingham.
The most obvious color is white and since gingham is always white and one other color it will go with gingham in any color. A lot of people get intimidated by white because it seems hard to clean - while it's true that white will highlight a stain I find white easier to treat stains that colored garments because it can be bleached. Plus, white gives summer fresh vibe. I went with an off the shoulder top for my white because it also screams summer to me. Since this top has statement sleeves with the side b…