Skip to main content

Blue Christmas

 
Last year I wrote about why I passed on the gratitude challenge (you can read it here) and at the end of the post I talked about how the Holiday season can be a struggle for many, and this year I want to expand more on that because y'all - I have been one of those many.
 
The holiday season is a wonderful time of merriment and joy but I feel like there's a lot of pressure. Everyone is posting their happy joyful pics sending the message BE THANKFUL, BE JOYFUL, YOU ARE BLESSED - and yes I typed those in all caps on purpose because sometimes it feels like the world is yelling these things at us. If I'm being perfectly honest 95% of the time I am the person posting the happy, joyful pic but 5% of the time I don't feel thankful or joyful or blessed and then I feel like a complete garbage human for not feeling those things. I haven't had a serious period of depression in over six years but I've spent enough time being depressed that I know it when it happens and I can recognize it for what it is and I think it's something not only important to talk about but it is especially important to talk about this time of year.
 
I can't explain to you what it feels like for everyone and I'm not a doctor or scientist so I won't explain the medical aspects but I will tell you what it feels like when I'm depressed. It feels completely irrational  - it's sitting at dinner with my husband and feeling unloved and lonely even though the person who loves me the most in the world is sitting right there and has done absolutely nothing to make me feel that way. It's taking a slight, or a perceived slight and the voices in my head magnifying it times 100. It feels like someone put emotional blinders on and I can only see the things that are wrong in my life instead of the things that are right. It feels like I'm not enough.

Every holiday season despite my best efforts I go through a mild version of this - between missing a family member, not seeing the sun during the week (or even on the weekends with the weather we've been having lately), the stress of the season, and the pressure to create the perfect Christmas memories some holiday seasons are better for me than others and if I'm being honest this year I'm on the low end of holiday enthusiasm. Once I get out of the house and at a party I wind up having a nice time but it wears me out and it's exhausting just dragging myself there. Right now I still have a few Christmas decorations that aren't completer because I haven't had the motivation to finish and I still need to send my Christmas cards. I'm getting there but this year seems a little harder for some reason. 

I had a nice time at the party where I took this pic but to be honest, I really struggled finding the motivation to get there. It might sdound silly but having a pretty dress helped.

So because I have experience with this myself here's some tips on how you can offer support when you see a love one experiencing the holiday blues:
 
1. Let you loved one vent. When it feels like the world is against you sometimes it helps just to say it out loud to an actually person instead of listening to the voices in ones head. Offer compassion not criticism - for me at least I know that these thoughts are not rational, I don't need you to tell me I'm being foolish / selfish / ungrateful for being upset bout A when I have X, Y and Z in my life. What you can do is say "I'm sorry you're feeling that way" offer a compliment or carefully express concern in a non accusational way.

2. Don't stop inviting them out / to parties no matter how many times they're declined a prior invitation. Sometimes it's just nice to be invited and thought of

3. Write a short personal message on your Christmas card - especially if your card is announcing some sort of milestone in your own life (cough cough I'm looking at you "Married Christmas" card senders). I know it's completely not your intention but when someone is feeling blue your card can come off braggy and a reminder how not perfect their life is. Honestly, I'm not a fan of bragging Christmas cards period but I live in the real world.

4. If you've experienced depression yourself let your loved one know you understand what they're going through. We've come a long way as a society in discussing mental health but there's still such a level of shame associated with it - honestly I feel like I'm taking a pretty big risk in writing this post. But if you don't have your own experience to share please share this post with anyone you think made need to know they are not alone in their feelings.

5. If you are really truly concerned that you loved one is experiencing more than just some holiday blues than let them know that you are there for them and mean it - don't just tell them they can call you anytime if they need anything - call and text them on a regular basis to check in. Let's say you go to lunch with a loved one today and they seem blue - call or text them tomorrow and say hey, I hope today is a better day. When I'm experiencing the blues I tell myself every bad day that tomorrow will be better.

6. If you feel like your loved one is a danger to themselves or to others than encourage them to seek professional help. The suicide prevention lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK

This time of year can be rough on everyone so let's be sure to look out for each other and spread the love this holiday season.


 

Comments

  1. It makes me sad to say this but for the first time in my life, I can totally relate to this kind of post. I've always loved the holiday season, so much so that my friends make fun of me for how much I love this time of year. So many things have happened lately that the joy is gone. Im going through a really hard time and it feels lonely. I actually cant wait for the holidays to go by. Thank you for writing this post, know that you opening up does help people. I truly hope you feel better soon. Much love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Girl! I'm so sorry to just now be responding but yay, we made it through the holidays! I hope 2019 will be a better year for you. Thinking of you and sending love your way <3

      Delete
  2. It's so important to talk about mental health during this time of year. I love your tips. I have been experiencing a lot of these feelings lately myself as I continue to search for and get rejected from jobs. And it's hard to be deep in the midst of that while also being full of holiday spirit for your family and friends. Glad you are shining a light on this subject, girl! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey girl, I hope the job search is going better in the New Year!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Zyto Scan Review

Recently I received my first Zyto scan. And I know most of you reading this are thinking, what the heck is a Zyto scan??? 
There's a graphic below but basically a Zyto scan is a device to read the bio-markers of the body (there are 76) and provides feedback on "out of range" markers and recommends products as a result. The Zyto scan does not diagnose or treat medical conditions, that's what doctors are for y'all. Because I received my scan at a Young Living class, my results were for Young Living products. 
The scan is painless and easy, one simply rests their hand on the cradle like so and watches a quick video on the process: 
This is me getting my scan 
A diagram of how it works 
After a few minutes received my results! Of 76 bio-markers 19 were out of balance, which isn't bad. I've really been making a push to focus on my health so I was pretty pleased with the results. 
Here's my report: 

I really love how in addition to recommendations the report discu…

Ipsy Glam Bag April 2017

OMG, Ipsy finally has a cute bag for the month!
Seriously, this month's coral ticket design bag is super cute and would make a fun little clutch for a night out at a festival or fair.
The items I received this month weren't terrible either. Here's what's inside my bag and my thoughts on each product:
OFRA Cosmetics Peach Blush $12 Everything I've received from this company in my Ipsy bad is a full-sized product (nice)! However they need to be in a refillable palette so that may not be your thing but I just found mine recently so this offends me less. This is overall a nice shade so I'll add it to my palette.
Hanalei Aloe Soothing Gel $30 This is a little more lightweight than the aloe gel you can get in a giant bottle at CVS but I'm skeptical yet if that makes it worth $30 for a jar. We're going to the beach in May so the timing is good and I'm sure I'll use the whole sample.
No Poreblem Primer $18 This is a nice, lightweight primer and has a …

Birthday Discounts

Woohoo! It's my birthday week y'all! Birthdays are always a great time for brands to make customers special and each year I'm able to take advantage of some pretty good discounts in July so I thought I would share the love and talk about some of my favorite discounts and how to get them.

My absolute favorite discount is from Kendra Scott! During your birthday month you can receive one regular item at 50% off. It's your first time you'll have to show your id in store and sign up for their email list but then once they have you on file you can just go into the store and say that you would like to apply your birthday discount to your purchase and give your email address. This year I purchased the Tatiana Long Pendant Necklace which usually sells for $175. This necklace takes the look of the popular Rayne necklace and really amps it up.  
If jewelry is your thing you can also get a $10 credit from Charming Charlie - this discount is sent to Charm Rewards members at the…

Lauren James Warehouse Sale Haul

Hello Friends! I know many of y'all kept up with my Lauren James warehouse sale journey over the weekend and if you're anything like me you like following along even if you couldn't make it yourself. When Lauren James announced the warehouse sale I was super excited but not sure I could make it work - it was short notice, a five hour drive and I'd already spent my June spending money. Luckily I have a good hubby who recognizes that sometimes you just need something fun in your life and was ok not only making the trip but with me borrowing from ourselves against my July spending money. Since this is the last warehouse sale Lauren James plans on holding I really didn't want the opportunity to slip by.
Warehouse sales can serve many purposes for a business - as a way to move excess inventory, create buzz and excitement for the brand, reward the most loyal brand fans by giving them access to great deal (which also puts more product into the hands of those most excite…