Skip to main content

Fat Not Miserable

February wasn't a great weight loss month for me - between The Super Bowl , Valentine's Day, Soup Sunday, Eating out with my Dad in town, and at little emotional eating I only lost 5 lbs. Of course I say "only" but if I only lost 5 lbs every month left in this year that would put me at loosing 68 lbs this year and that's nothing to be sad about. 

I'm on a food plan but to be honest I do deviate from it on the weekends; obviously February was a learning curve for me about how to go off plan and still lose and what's too far off plan vs what's ok. I know at lot of  people when they are on a weight loss plan don't believe in "cheating" or going off plan but for me it's important - one because looking at over a year of being in wight loss mode is very daunting and I find it easier to tackle each week at a time but also because quite frankly I don't want to lose too much weight too fast. Yes, that's right - I don't want to lose weight too fast.

One of the biggest problems I have with our society and how we approach weight loss is that there's always this idea out there that fat = miserable. We see it when people post before and afters, we see it in media and entertainment because heaven forbid Hollywood just ONCE cast someone above a size 6 where their weight isn't a constant topic of conversation and of course it's an idea that a multi billion dollar weight loss industry pushes down our throats. But here's the deal y'all - I'm not miserable. We hear all these weight loss stories where people talk about all the things they couldn't do because of their weight and I can never relate to that - I can see my feet and put on my own shoes, I don't have mobility issues, I fit perfectly fine inside my car, I don't need a seat belt extender on an airplane and I've never been kicked off an amusement park ride. To be perfectly honest there's very few things my weight would prevent me from doing that I'd even want to do - I'm more outdoorsy that I like drinking on patios than I am interested in hiking through the woods. I guess in short you could say that I'm not afraid of being fat - but what I am afraid of is causing my body harm in losing weight.

Did you know that most of the contestants on The Biggest Loser have gained their weight back  or that 80% of people who lose 10% or more of their body weight gain it back -YIKES! This gain is essentially caused by two things - a slowed metabolism and increased appetite. Losing weight too fast and eating less than 1,000 calories a day can really mess up the body's metabolism - and we're not talking about while eating under 1,000 calories a day - we're talking forever! Also, in an ironic twist losing weight causes individuals to have an increased appetite. The key to keeping weight off is to lose it without crash dieting and ruining the metabolism and building healthy habits to control ones appetite. 

Another issue that can be caused by rapid weight loss is excess skin. Gaining weight causes the skin to stretch and when one loses weight quickly it doesn't give the skin the opportunity to shrink in turn. The reality is that if I lose over 100lbs I will wind up with some excess skin - especially around my stomach but I would like to give my skin every chance to shrink naturally which is why I'm focused on drinking plenty of water and now adding work outs to my routine. I don't feel like weight loss should be about appearance and it certainly isn't for me - to be honest I don't hate what I see in the mirror. I also know my body now to know what I think it looks good in and and what I'm not a fan of. I haven't been 100lbs less than I started in 10 years so I have no idea what that body will look like at 35 and there's a chance thanks to excess skin it will look completely different than the last time I was at that weight. When it comes to weight loss my biggest fear is that I will actually love my body less and have less confidence than I do now and that I'll have to spend thousands on skin removal surgery. 

As much as the weight loss industry wants us to believe it I don't think it's normal to be miserable in ones life just because one is overweight and I wish we would stop celebrating this behavior. I need to lose 100lbs and I still lead a normal fulfilling life where my weight has very little impact on my ability to live that life. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but for ones weight to be significantly impacting their life we're talking about being 200lbs, 300lbs and even more over weight. I do believe that there are people out there who are 25, 50 and yes even 100lbs overweight who are miserable about their weight but I would argue that is much more about underlying self esteem issues, past experiences and mental health than it is just about the weight. I think it can be very dangerous to have this mindset and lose weight because that is where you see individuals go to extreme measures to get the weight off as quickly as possible. I have worn every size jean from 8 to 22 so I can say with a lot of confidence that happiness cannot be found in a smaller pair of jeans. Happiness with ones body has to come from a place of love and acceptance not hate and misery. 

Let's Connect! Follow me on Instagram , Facebook and Pinterest



  1. AMEN!!! I’m not miserable! My focus is not on losing weight right now. I’m focused on trying to move a little more & make small improvements in my eating...and focusing on one day at a time! It is A LOT less stressful than obsessing over the scale every day!

    1. Thanks girl, I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets frustrated by this mindset


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vi Peel

2018 Update: Hello Internet! Welcome to my most popular blog post - I presume you're here because you're considering getting a facial peel. Please keep in mind this is an old post and my photo quality is not great. Please feel free to read and enjoy but I do want to let you know that as the years have passed I have taken a more proactive approach with my skin care and I do not get frequent peels. If you'd like to see my modern approach to skincare check out some of my other beauty posts and I'd love for you to connect with me on Instagram to keep up with my latest and greatest recommendations.

Hello! So I got my first Vi Peel which I was super excited about. Since the Botox post was popular I figure y'all would like this too. Besides, it's well established I'm beyond any sense of privacy or shame here.
I got my first peel years ago - a mild Glycolic peel added onto my fac…

Spring Styles to Wear Now

Is it just me or is 2019 passing along quickly? Welcome to March which is said to come in like a lion and out like a lamb. Sometimes fashion seasons and the weather don't match up but the fashion show must go on! While I'm waiting for the weather to catch up I'm wearing some new spring items with some added warmth now and I'll wear them without the layers later. Here's just a few examples of how you can take spring items and start wearing them now. One of my favorite items to wear is a loose tunic - they are comfortable, cute and flattering. While I love a tunic with skinny jeans right now it needs a little extra layer for warmth so I'm topping this tunic I picked up at the Southern Women's Show with my utility jacket. When the weather warms up I'll either wear with the jeans alone, white pants or even a khaki skirt. Wear It Now Wear It Later

I came across this pink dress I just had to have it - it's so fun and super flattering. To wear …

Body Confidence

I have people tell me a lot that "I'm so confident" with such a tone of surprise and while really I think it's just that I'm a plus size women who happens to be loud and doesn't try to hide from the world but sometimes if I'm in a sensitive mood I'll take that as umm, don't you own a mirror, you should maybe be quiet and go to the gym. I'd say about 90% of the time I can say although I don't have my ideal body I don't hate myself and I don't let it keep me from living my life but then there's that 10% of the time . . .

Last week I had such a moment, You may have noticed that my pics I post on social media are either of me standing or are chest up if I'm sitting - now this is partially because I typically only take pics seated if I'm showing off a product so I was a more close up anyway but also here's something this people never have to think about - when you're plus size and you sit down if consolidates all t…

Lauren James Warehouse Sale Haul

Hello Friends! I know many of y'all kept up with my Lauren James warehouse sale journey over the weekend and if you're anything like me you like following along even if you couldn't make it yourself. When Lauren James announced the warehouse sale I was super excited but not sure I could make it work - it was short notice, a five hour drive and I'd already spent my June spending money. Luckily I have a good hubby who recognizes that sometimes you just need something fun in your life and was ok not only making the trip but with me borrowing from ourselves against my July spending money. Since this is the last warehouse sale Lauren James plans on holding I really didn't want the opportunity to slip by.
Warehouse sales can serve many purposes for a business - as a way to move excess inventory, create buzz and excitement for the brand, reward the most loyal brand fans by giving them access to great deal (which also puts more product into the hands of those most excite…

Lane Bryant Best Fitting Denim

Ask 100 women what is the most versatile items in their closet and I bet 98% will say a pair of jeans. As I mentioned in my 2019 wardrobe goals getting another pair of jeans is on my closet to do this year since right now I only have one pair. And wouldn't you know it but the folks at Lane Bryant must have read my mind since they're offering the Best Fitting Denim event this upcoming weekend and they have asked me to be their special guest so not only I could find my own perfect fitting jeans but help y'all do the same. Lane Bryant offers a good variety of jeans not only in shape but in color, wash and fun details. Before showing the perfect pair for me here's a look at just a few of the options. It was really nice to be able to play around with the wash, length and fit so see what I liked about each.

Although I LOVE the fun ruffle and ribbon embellishments I felt like a traditional pair of jeans matches my lifestyle. I tried on the straight leg and boot cut three ti…